Category: Jesus

Random thoughts & Lost Identity.

I usually dread the question, ” So what do you do?” It should be an easy answer right? Well, it’s kinda tough for  me. I came to Nashville to surround myself with other singer/songwriters to become better at it or maybe realize I suck at it. So far it’s been a great journey of growing in the art of music. I definitely enjoy performing my music live at local venues. Then I get this question, “So do you sing christian music?”  The reason I get this question is probably because I serve my church as a coordinator for one of our campuses and I really love being part of ministry.  Truth is I don’t really ever sing or perform at a Church. When I do perform you will most likely find me a the local bar or club singing to my friends and a few random strangers. I just prefer it that way. I don’t ever try not to be one or the other…I write what’s in my heart and my mind and play music to it.

My wife and I are actors. We have a few auditions that we go to monthly. Sometimes we score the gigs and sometimes we don’t. Our kids recently started auditioning as well. It’s just something we’ve always enjoyed doing and probably always will. Like many people, we have regular day jobs to pay the bills and our boy’s school. These are just a few of the many things  we do.

The problem is I get so wrapped up in the world of what I do sometimes, that I Identify myself by it. I am an actor, I am a singer/songwriter(like everyone in Nashville), I work for my church, I’m a blogger, I am this, I am that…Then BAM. I forget who I really am…Don’t get me wrong, I am not hating on what I do, I freakn love what I do, but it is not who I am. Sometimes I feel like I am back in High School. I am working hard to get noticed and in hopes to hang with the cool kids of the school. Become what I do, so I can enter the circle of social popularity. I realize networking  and marketing is a vital tool for any organization, company, product and movement.  Without a good solid plan, well… nobody will ever know what you do.  But I am learning  that what I do is not who I am. My true identity is found in the beginning of this journey. I am a regular dude, that loves God, love’s family and is grateful for life. I grew up in broken streets dreaming to someday be somebody. I am still trying to figure what that really means…  I get so lost in my projects  sometimes that I steal time from those I really love. Time I will never get back from my beautiful wife and my awesome boys.

A few nights ago I promised my boy I’d tuck him in to bed, but I got so tied up in what I do, that his eye’s closed before I could do so.  Every extra effort I put into what I do, was not worth missing out on that moment with my son. I love the genuine lessons  I learn from my kids. I can be the greatest songwriter ever, the best actor ever, the best filmmaker ever, the best church leader ever, the best communicator ever, the best____________ ever. But in the eye’s of those I love and love me back,  I am just a son, a father, a husband and a friend, everything else is just gravy :)

What matters most is who you are, not so much what you do. When you remain genuine to that everything else falls in place.

-fuser+

 

Zion gave me the Bird.

It’s so easy to get stuck in the  world of routine.  Getting by to make it another day, another week, another month. Sometimes I have to stop myself and disconnect from everything in order to remind myself of the work that still needs to be done in pursuit of our dreams and passions and the reasons why we are here in this season.

As I wrestled with the idea of leaving my hometowm Chicago in 2007, my Dad’s words were the deciding factor. He said, “just close your eyes and go”. The only way I was going to find out if there was more to my life and my family was by taking a chance, and I did.

Yesterday when I picked up my boys from school Zion met me at the door of his classroom and showed me the amazing work of art he made. In “that moment” It felt as if Zion’s simple art piece spoke into my soul.  There is always more! There is always something new to be made! There is always a brand new day!

I am learning to stop measuring my future by my past. I am learning to stop comparing myself to who I was 5 yrs ago, to who I am today.  I am learning to think with a fresh approach, work with a blank canvas, and work my a$$ off for the life of my dreams, the life God designed for me and my crew to live. We can talk all day long about how screwed our past is, and why we don’t deserve _______________,  and for what!?  But we can talk about, where do we go from here?

So today I remind YOU! Your routine is temporary, but you gotta work for your dreams! Your past is done and over with.  You were created for more than that. So because of that I give you the Bird! It is a new day.

Has anyone given you the bird lately? Tell me about it!

-fuser+

 

A Portrait of Jesus

Check out this amazing piece. “A Portrait of Jesus” by Jeremy Cowart

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