Took some time, (brief) time, to think, reflect and realize I am recovering…From what? From living a life that wasn’t. From being a person I wasn’t. Wanting something so fake.  It’s easy to fall in the trend of being this superficial god freak. Define “god freak”

Well…It’s having priorities mixed up side down, and everything except what really matters becomes a god. I realized I am flesh and bone and have no super powers what so ever. I realized that there is nothing I can do to convince God I am great. I am great in his eyes no matter what. Grace is amazing! Though I walk with my chest and chin up, inside I am afraid. Afraid of what? Afraid of becoming and afraid of being everything, but what is right… Not being the best husband I can be, not being the role model Father figure I should be,not being a strong front-man and leader, not being a true friend. Walking in shoes that don’t fit me (not literally), lying so much you believe it yourself to be true. Thinking that if I do this, God will do this… Just living straight BS! to get an applause, a reward, another blog review, public status and recognition… Being afraid of failing at the things I am so passionate about. Afraid of losing all hope in the midst of chaos. Afraid of being me and sharing who I am working to be.

You see, I tip my hat to all those who can sit on their chairs with championship belts of being perfect and without stain. I applaud all who have never fumbled the winning pass. I step back in the presence of those who’ve have been “good” their whole lives…I am sorry, but it’s not my story.  I am just a broken dude, trying to live the best life I possibly can, love my amazing wife  with all I’ve got, Love and lead my boys on their journey, and hope God’s reflection is in all that  I do.  All  in hopes that the day I leave this earth, the maker looks at me and says he’s proud of me, and that my wife my kids and their kids can say ” He lived it up and was Faithful”.  This is a breathe of fresh air, this is my journey towards Redemption. This is me. I am not who I should be, I am still not where I wanna be, but I sure as hell ain’t who I used to be…To all those who’ve embraced my flaws, mishaps and scars…thanks for being family and never changing. Thanks for keeping it real. And so the story continues. I feel recharged, I feel inspired, I feel so alive.. BUENO, VAMOS!!!!

“hasta la victoria siempre”…

-fuser+